Okay so this is just gonna be a rambly mess but I’ve been so obsessed with Wicked the last two weeks and I needed to write about how much I love Glinda and Elphaba before I actually explode. So background, basically I first saw Wicked on Broadway back in middle school and it in general was the first Broadway production I had ever seen. I was already familiar with a lot of the songs at the time but this was my first exposure to the actual story, and having seen other shows since, I can still say it was the most magical of them all by a large margin. I remember how amazed I was seeing Defying Gravity (which was my favorite song on the soundtrack at the time) and genuinely felt like a different person during the intermission. I remember being so distraught leaving the theatre, knowing their story indeed that way, and ultimately that was the start of my Wicked obsession. Since then, my love for musical theatre has waxed and waned, but I have always held so much appreciation for that show above all others. It's still the only one where I have kept up with different castings, found my favorites, and have preferred deliveries in certain lines (Louise Dearman in No One Mourns the Wicked T-T). Now with the movie coming out soon it has reignited the fire within me, and my brain simply cannot let up from thinking about how the love story between Glinda and Elphie is so beautiful yet so cruel. Especially with the guilt Glinda carries and how she clearly blames herself, and is doomed to live out the rest of her life believing that not only her best friend is dead, but also having to publically scorn her, and hide the love she had for her. In my heart of hearts I believe that Glinda is a lesbian and has only ever truly loved Elphaba and it genuinely makes me want to jump off a cliff thinking how cruel the world was to them both. I’m so glad this is only going to portray half of the story because I do not know if I would be able to leave the movie theatres emotionally unscathed after hearing For Good. Hell, I am probably gonna be crying during the first number, like I already have multiple times this week. Honestly, this has been making me such an emotional mess I have literally been crying daily about them and also am currently as I am writing this out….Moral of this is that I love tragedy, and am a complete masochist. Anyways now I am gonna write out some of my favorite little moments in the show just because
Basically any actress who really plays up the grief in No One Mourns the Wicked, Katie Rose Clarke is probably my fav (this whole list could consist of just me praising her because she is my all time favorite Glinda) * probably gonna add more to this but its getting late (probably part of the reason why i am currently so emotionally distraught) but yeah lots and lots of feelings and memories with this musical
** also maybe I will make a Gelphie fic rec list soon because thats all that has consumed my thoughts of late :)))
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Happy Lesbian Visibility Week! It’s been so reassuring how each year this week comes around that I feel more confident in my identity than the previous year. While realizing I was a lesbian previously caused me strife (and sometimes continues to), it ultimately altered the way I see and interact with the world. I feel that it has given me a lot of strength and community that is truly irreplaceable, and with that community I have gained more knowledge and insight to the rich history of lesbian identities and queer liberation. In honor of this week I decided that I would talk about some of my favorite older lesbian movies. As someone who loves classic film, I have searched desperately over the past few years to find anything with even a semblance of lesbian undertones in it, and I feel that I have been introduced to many eye-opening and complex depictions of lesbianism that might surprise the modern viewer in how relevant they still feel today. First I should preface that while a lot of these movies are ahead of their time, and are relatively respectful, or at least sympathetic when it comes to this subject matter, many of them still display period-typical misogyny, homophobia/lesbophobia, and racism, of which I do not condone. With all that being said, let's begin!
TW for The Children’s Hour:
Homophobia, Bullying, Suicide


The first film that really inspired this write-up was the 1961 drama The Children’s Hour. An adaptation of the 1934 play of the same name by Lillian Hellman (which I also highly recommend reading), is the story of Martha Dobie and Karen Wright, played by Shirley Maclaine and Audrey Hepburn respectively, who have been best friends since college and have recently opened a girls boarding school with their savings.While once having been respected teachers and members of the community, a single rumor started by a spoiled and conniving student goes on to tarnish their reputations, as well as lead to revelations regarding their feelings towards one another. Frankly, I must confess that this is quite a harrowing story that does not leave one feeling particularly happy. However, it is a story that depicts the harsh reality of grappling with one’s sexuality during a time in which there was rarely any empathy for those who betrayed the system of heterosexuality imposed upon them. Specifically for women, as they were only allowed to do so much within society.

Spoilers:
Martha Dobie is specifically such a compelling character, and while the script is well-written itself, it’s Shirley Maclaine’s performance that leaves an indelible impression on not just me, but many others who have seen this film. While Shirley Maclaine has gone on to say that her and the cast of the film did not take the time to fully acknowledge the implications and depictions of lesbianism, it does not come across that way, at least on her part. She delivers such a passionate and sorrowful performance, of a woman who is in a sense “outed” before she even recognized herself that she was gay. She is forced to now question the feelings she has had for her best friend and business partner for over the past decade all while in the public eye, which alters everything that she has centered her life around. I find it so interesting because Shirley Maclaine has said before in the documentary The Celluloid Closet (1996) that if the movie was made in the present day Martha’s character would not break down, but rather fight the system. However, her original performance resonated so deeply with Martha, even though I am around 60 years removed from the societal context of this film. I, as a lesbian in the 21st century, felt just like Martha when I had the same realization about myself, and I felt “dirty” and “sick” just as she describes. I myself felt resentment towards people who I knew would never like me back, or could show their love for someone without fear of ridicule. It truly eats away at you, and makes you feel miles behind your straight counterparts in romantic experience. I cannot over exaggerate how much Martha Dobie’s character means to me, especially as I see other people my age who have accepting parents and who are proudly out. It leaves me with a sense of shame and resentment that is unjustifiable because now I live in a time where I should be more accepted, yet still feel so trapped. I think that's why I find these older movies so relatable, as I feel that like them I am also hiding such a large part of myself that I am not ready to share.